Wednesday, April 30, 2014


I know it's not Thursday, but this just showed up in my head this morning. :)

"Are there any other girls living in the house?" The words of the official floated into the kitchen from the living room.

I held my breath, waiting for the answer, as the dishwater dripped from my hands into the sink. "Oh... just Ellie," my stepmother answered.  Oh, just Ellie, I mimicked in my head. That woman just got under my skin. I couldn't wait until I had saved up enough side money to get my own place. "But, she never goes anywhere. She can't possibly be the girl you're looking for."

I laughed in my head. Oh, how little you know. But, for once, I was glad for her dismissal of me. It made things so much easier.

But, the poor schmuck saddled with the drudging task argued, "I'm sorry, ma'am. But my orders are to try this shoe on EVERY unmarried girl in town."

I could hear my stepmother sigh dramatically before calling, "Ellie!  Get in here!!!"

This was about to get complicated.  Ladies, if you find yourself saddled with a fairy godmother, make sure all her abilities are intact.  Like, oh I don't know... her hearing.  "I want to be tall" really isn't the same thing as "I want to go to the ball."  I'm just saying. Wiping my hands on the dishtowel, I stepped into the room, hoping the baseball cap I had stuffed my hair into would be enough to shield my face from being recognized.

"Miss," the official nodded his head slightly, with the smallest of smiles tugging up the corners of his mouth. I should have recognized Mr. Thomas's voice... the prince's security supervisor... and his best friend. This wasn't going to be easy to get out of. "Take a seat, please."

Gesturing at my cleaning clothes, I protested, "Is this really necessary? Surely, you can see that I'm not really the ball type."

"Just sit." Oh, why didn't I go back for that stupid shoe? Shouldn't fairy godmothers give you clothes that fit?

I kicked off my sneaker, and offered my thickly socked foot to Mr Thomas.

"Ah, nice try," he smiled. "Socks, too?"  I tugged one off and tossed it onto the floor, once again proferring the appendage for examination. "Thank you."  He slipped the shoe onto my foot, and sat back. "Huh.  Seems to fit pretty well, actually."

My stepmother rushed forward to argue. "Mr. Thomas, I assure you that Ellie was nowhere near the palace any of the last few nights. There is absolutely no way that she could be the girl you're looking for."

Mr. Thomas rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "Is that so, Mrs. Baker?"  He turned his gaze on me. "Is that true? And consider yourself on the record, if that helps your tongue."

I glared at him and wriggled uncomfortably. "Well... it's not... exactly... true. It's... possible... that I might have slipped into the building."

"Mmmhmm." Mr Thomas turned to speak into his intercom. "Tell the prince I found his girl, Doug.  And bring him pronto."

I groaned. "Mr. Thomas... I assure you, I'm not what the prince thinks I am."

"Oh, I can see that, miss.  But, the prince is so taken, he's ordered the whole place searched for you." His gaze travelled over my clothes. "Not sure what he'll say when he sees you like that, though."

I stuck my tongue out at him. They can't jail you for that, right?

Still on his knees at my feet, he looked up at me and said quietly, "You could have said something at the ball. This all would have been much different."

I paced the room for the next 20 minutes, biting my fingernails and waiting for the royal car to arrive. When it did, the prince jumped out, not even waiting for the door to be opened for him.  Rushing into the house without knocking (charming, eh?), he addressed Mr. Thomas. "Chris, you found my girl?"

Mr Thomas nodded slowly. "She may not be what you're expecting."

The prince turned to me and fell at my feet, "Oh my sweet girl, I can't believe I found you. I've had Chris searching every house for three days!"

"Yes... I saw on the news..."

He grabbed my hand and kissed it. "It's no matter, it's no matter.  Now that I've found you, we can marry and you can move into the castle and you can have everything...  No more dishes!  No more... of whatever that is you're wearing... My god, I can't believe --"

"Your Highness," I interrupted him gently. "I...  I don't really know how to say this.  You're a really sweet guy, and I had a lot of fun at the ball. Really, I did, and I just want to thank you for the dances. But... I don't really think I'm ready to marry you... possibly ever.  I'm sorry that you went to all this trouble."

"But," he looked at me in confusion. "I'm the prince."

"Yes, I know who you are."

"And you came to the ball. And we danced!"

"Yes...  yes... I was there."

"And I'm the prince." He just couldn't seem to get off that.

"You said that already." I looked over his shoulder to Mr. Thomas for help, but he just grinned at me and shrugged in amusement. "Look, you're really nice and sweet and handsome, and I'm sure that you will find a girl who loves you and who wants to move into your castle and all that... stuff.  But... it's just not me."  I stood up and took his hand, leading him to the door. "It's okay... You'll be okay. You'll have another ball and find another girl to hunt down stalkerally and to live happily ever after with.  Just not with me."

He wandered down the path back to the car, muttering... "But I'm the prince.  She can't say No.  I'm the prince.

I sighed and turned to Mr. Thomas. "He'll be okay, right?"

He smiled, "Oh sure... he falls in love every week."

I opened my mouth to speak... stopped...  and tried again. "Mr Thomas..."

He shook his head, "Please... after all this, you can call me Chris."

I chewed the inside of my cheek. "I wasn't lying to the prince. I did have a good time at the ball... but... I don't really think it was because of the prince. And I know you're busy, tracking down a lot of smitten girls. But...  if you ever have time for a cup of coffee...  you know where to find me."

"Miss Ellie...."  he put a finger to my chin and tilted my face toward his. "I just may do that."

I smiled. "But... just coffee. Don't get any ideas!"

Thursday, April 24, 2014


I could jump.

I could jump, slip into the sea, and I could leave it all behind. There isn't even anyone to miss me anymore.

Can I tell you about it? The story of how I ended up here on this rock, staring into the sea below? I've heard it helps sometimes.... the telling. I'm just not sure whether I want it to help me get off onto the shore... or down into the water.

It begins simply, as I imagine most stories do. We just go about our lives, not expecting that anything extraordinary is about to happen. Maybe that's our problem - the not-expecting.  It takes us so completely by surprise when it does happen that we get swept up in it before we can blink... or sometimes don't even know it's happening until it's too late to change it. Too late to go back.

We can never go back.

Monday, April 21, 2014


Maybe you're a new reader to the blog, or maybe you've been with me from the beginning and beyond.  But, there's a lot of posts around here, and maybe it's a little daunting?  I had occasion to read through some of my old posts the other day, and I thought maybe it might be nice to go back and go through some of my favorites.

I know this probably still seems like a lot... but I culled it down from over 900!


Change -- "Change isn't one simple choice. It's a process of a series of steps."

Becoming is Hard -- A poem of sorts about the pain of Becoming.

More on Change

Masks and Being Yourself

Be You -- "They can't stop you from being you. Only YOU can stop you from being you, and don't you dare let 'them' be the reason that you hold back anymore."

Behind the Mask -- Who would you be if you took off your mask?

Beautiful Girl -- Did you know that you are beautiful?  Yes, you.

More on Masks and Being Yourself


Love Isn't About Competition -- You get to choose what you put your time into...  are the relationships you're putting time into right now worth the investment?

What You Put Up With -- "They say that what you put up with is what you end up with. What are you putting up with?"

More on Friendship


There Is Hope -- When your heart breaks and your soul cries out, There is hope.

Word of the Day: Hope -- Sometimes hope is all we have to hold onto...  A piece written when a friend was quite ill.

More on Hope

Hurt and Healing

Picking Up When You've Lost -- Starting again when you've been broken...

You Will Come Back -- "Over time, I came back to myself. Because you do. That season of heartache doesn't last forever, and you eventually come back to yourself."

More on Hurt and Healing

Letting Go

I'm Glad I Walked Away -- Sometimes you have to let go of unhealthy friendships

Letting Go Bit by Bit -- Do you let go all at once?  Or can you only stand it a little teensy bit at a time?

More on Letting Go


Bravery -- "Baby, being brave isn't about not being afraid. Being brave is about being afraid but doing what you're afraid of, anyway."

Don't Wait -- "Why do we let fear stop us from saying the things our hearts beg us to say?"

More on Fear


A Simple Thought -- Kindness when people hurt you...

Guts to Be Kind -- "It's being kind to the people you don't like, the people who rub you wrong, the people you don't agree with, the people who do things that you just don't understand... that's the hard part."

More on Kindness

Trust and Forgiveness

Tearing Down the Walls -- Learning to trust again after you've built up walls to protect yourself...

I Can't Trust You -- What if it's yourself that you can't trust?

Challenge of Forgiveness -- "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." -- Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiven but Not Forgotten -- Do you struggle with being trusting, forgiving, AND wise?  Me too.

More on Trust and Forgiveness