Choose who you want to be,
despite what anyone else does, says, or thinks.
In the end, I suppose this was my theme for 2013. It's something I stumbled across early in the year, and I really liked its idea. But, I kept returning to it over and over as the year wore on.
I suppose that I am (and perhaps we all are?) a pretty responsive person. I don't act so much as I respond. I change what I do and think and am, based on what other people do, think, and say about me. And perhaps that isn't un-understandable. It's difficult to not let those things affect us. But, I came to a decision early on this year that I was responsible for who I was. I was responsible for what I did and thought and said. And it wasn't okay for me to blame other people for those things.
Because, at the end of the day, I got to choose who I was.
And who I was... it wasn't dependent on other people's choices and thoughts and words. Those were their things to choose. I couldn't control those things, and neither should I try. But what could I control?
I could control me. I had power over me. I could choose the person I wanted to be and I could make choices based on that person.
I'd love to say that I was a rousing success. But, it probably wouldn't be true. I often had to be very strict with myself and reprimand, "No! You get to choose. Don't change who you are, the person you want to be, the kind of friend/parent/etc you want to be, based on someone else's actions. Let them be responsible for them. You be responsible for you." Sometimes I listened. Sometimes I didn't.
But I think I'm ending the year content in those choices. Part of me wishes that I'd chosen deliberate action more often, and responsive action less. But, I think I'm ending the year content in the choices I made, content in the times that I went right along being who I wanted to be, no matter if anyone else was on the train with me or not.
Be the person you want to be, Jo. It doesn't matter what anyone else does.
I think I'll take that into 2014 with me, too.