I watched her sleep.
I know that sounds creepy and stalkerish. Maybe you're right. Maybe it is creepy and stalkerish. Maybe I am.But, I couldn't help it. I watched her sleep, clutching the rose I had given her over dinner before I'd walked her home.
Sometimes I wished that I wasn't what I am, or that she wasn't what she was. I wished I could tell her the truth and I wished that there were some middle ground where we could co-exist. Together.
But, there wasn't. She was who she was and I was who I was, and there was no helping either one. Loving her was dangerous. Dangerous for her, dangerous for me. But can you help the one you fall in love with? Can you just tell yourself "No" and have your heart follow your directions?
If you know how, I'd love to know the secret. But, also... I wouldn't. For, as much as it hurts and as much as I know it isn't wise, loving her is an exquisite pain and one I would not wish to lose.
And so I simply watch her sleep.
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