Saturday, April 16, 2016

Your Strongest Person??

"You're the strongest person I know."

It was a comment from a dear and old friend (she's not old... we've just known each other a long time!) on an old post that I recently reshared -- and I briefly wondered --

"Are you lost? Did you mean to write that here? Are you sure that you haven't confused me with someone else?"

I've thought about it a lot since then... perhaps because, lately, I feel anything but strong.

  • 2/3 of my children fell apart, and I've been merely scrambling to keep us all from being washed away in the debris.
  • I've been absolutely CRAP at maintaining my friendships -- people that mean the world to me, and I've been pretty much the worst at keeping up communication. I have been an awful friend.
  • I've destroyed my eating plan in the stress.
  • Running is a joke.
  • Taking care of myself has been on PAUSE since January.

I do not feel like I am winning at life. I can't be anyone's "Strongest Person"....  because... well, that's just sad.  They're going to need to meet some new people.

But maybe I'm looking at it wrong.

Maybe winning at life... maybe being strong....  maybe it isn't about having it all together. Maybe it isn't about being Pinterest Perfect. Maybe it isn't about perfect relationships and perfect environments and perfect... anything.

Maybe it's about stumbling through the things life throws out at you -- but refusing to give up. Maybe it's about slogging through the hard things, even if you're doing it badly, and coming out the other side, still breathing, still awake, still... trying.

Maybe the strongest people aren't the people who feel like they have life down -- but those who know that they don't but still give it a go, anyway.

I'll be honest... I don't feel like I have the goods to claim to be anyone's "strongest person I know" --  I still wonder if you've confused me with someone else.

But I'm going to give it a go.
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