Saturday, February 2, 2019

Bad at No, Bad at Yes

I started a new book last night -- and it took me about four chapters to realize that it really wasn't the book for me. Not really in a bad way -- the book and the author were fine.

It was largely about boundaries and learning to say No. And I feel like that's something I'm okay-er at. With my intimate family, maybe not great. I still put myself at the bottom of the heap too much and throw out my own needs in service of being a good (or, let's face it, passable) mom.

*Flashes back to all the weird things I did for Celtic Thunder et al. just because they asked me to*

Ok, maybe I am bad at boundaries and saying No. How is one both bad at saying yes and bad at saying no? How is that even possible? That person surely needs a little bit of therapy.

Maybe it's just that the things the author says yes to and the things I say yes to are different things. I never had a hard time saying No to Stepford PTA. :)

This is clearly all stream-of-consciousness today.

But, I also know that I have a hard time saying yes -- out of fear and discomfort and self-consciousness. Shonda Rhimes' "Year of Yes" was one of the most convicting, encouraging, and motivating things I've read in the past five years.

Guys, I think I might be broken.

And I probably need to read that book again.

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