Thursday, January 14, 2016

A little sunshine in the storm

Right now, our family is going through a Season of Hard.

One of my teenagers is dealing with some hard mental health things and our family has been in hardcore crisis mode for the past ten days.

It is stressful.
We are all tired and worn out.

But today, there was a little bit of sunshine.

Actual sunshine, yes.

Our other children have responded to the crisis by exhibiting kindness and compassion.

We just came back from an afternoon errand outing and there was laughter and smiling... and just a little bit of our happy back.

Tomorrow, it might be hard again.
Tonight even, it might be hard again.

But, we had this afternoon... and it was a reminder that Happy Times are still there to be had.

Monday, January 11, 2016

What I've Learned Planning a Trip...

I'm planning a trip to Ireland this summer.

While it's a relatively small place (coming from where I live), there's a remarkable lot to see.  So I began by asking my tribe, many of whom have been to Ireland before, what they thought I shouldn't miss.

And then began planning the trip around those things.

At the same time, I was slowly making my way through a guidebook -- circling the things I wanted to see, ignoring the things that I didn't care about so much.

I began to realize that the things I was planning my trip around...  they weren't necessarily the things that were most important to me. --  They were the things that were most important to other people...

Wouldn't it make more sense to plan our long hoped-for trip around the things that stirred me?

So I began again... but this time concentrating on the things that I wanted to see...

Maybe that happens a lot. Maybe we plan our hours and days and months around the things that others want us to do...  and somewhere in there, the things that we want get lost.

Maybe it's time we found them.

Friday, January 8, 2016

My Grand Plan for 2016

2015 didn't end easily.

Really, most of 2015 wasn't easy. My world unraveled a bit when my husband was injured in May, and even after the crisis was over, I don't think I ever quite got myself back together. So I have ended the year, reeling from a return of my depression and just trying to keep my head above water and all the balls in the air.

So. Many. Balls.

So... 2016 sort of started without me, almost.

I haven't really taken time to reflect on last year.
I didn't pick a Word.
I haven't thought about all the areas of my life and analyzed the crap out of them, like I normally do.

I have no resolutions.

Instead, I have this message for myself.

"Be kinder."

That's all.

To myself...
To the people around me...
To the people I love...
To the people I can't stand...
To the people who make me want to stick a fork in my eye.
Or theirs.
And twice to myself.

For, I promise, no one expects more from me than I do, and I disappoint no one as much as I disappoint myself.

So, this year, all I ask of myself is this...

Be kinder.

In every meaning of that word...  just be kinder.
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