I emailed the manager for Byrne and Kelly last week to ask for general summer tour dates. I'm planning this Ireland trip and I was hoping that they wouldn't be happening at the same time.
Not that I would have really moved our trip around... I've come into a bit of unexpected budget, so with a slightly more extended trip, I don't have a lot of wiggle room on timing, anyway!
After her answer, I considered making sure that my trip wouldn't overlap with the Celtic Thunder fall tour either... but I never went to the trouble when I realized that it wouldn't bother me that much to miss it.
I stepped back a moment, eyed that thought with a touch of emotional detachment, and Hmmm'd.
Why wouldn't it bother me?
This isn't a "I'm done with Celtic Thunder!" or anything... I'm not upset. But... an acknowledgement that I feel differently than I did.
Partly, I know that I'm not really on-board with the content direction of the show lately. I liked it when we had new things every year or so... The last three years of Nothing New/Rehash the Old doesn't interest me that much and the Constantly Revolving Door makes me a little tired.
It's taken me a year to come to peace about my relationship with the show's producer. We used to be friends -- and I will always be thankful for that friendship. I was awfully spoiled... and while most people just saw that, it was the more personal things that came with it that were important to me. I will always be grateful for those things. They were kindnesses that came from knowing who I was, and caring about that person --
It was a friendship that meant something to me. We'll leave it at that.
And I've never been happy with the way it ended. But after a year, I can say that I'm at peace with it. I never really understood it.. I believe I deserved better... but I also don't really think it had anything to do with me. -- So I can leave it there and acknowledge that I don't want to pick it up again.
I stepped back from a lot of "being a fan." I gave myself permission this year to stop feeling like I had to support every castmember... and just started following the ones I really liked and that's made things quieter and nicer and less frenetic.
I'm not done with Celtic Thunder at all. Even with the things I don't love, I still like it and I still enjoy the shows. Probably, the truth is that as long as Ryan's a part of the cast, I'll be there.
But I feel less married to it.