Sunday, April 5, 2015

A Crisis of Faith: Part 2

For me, a faith crisis wasn't really about theology. It wasn't questioning whether what I believed was true.

But I suppose it was about feeling like what I believed and what I felt made me different. And if I was different from what I saw around me, was I wrong? Were they wrong? Was anyone wrong?

I don't really know when it started.  It was a discontent that grew over time until I was so annoyed by it that I reacted with disgust to those around me.

I'm a blogger... and as such, I like to read other blogs. But I began to feel more and more frustrated by the other writers I was reading. Having a hard day? Jesus will save you. Going through a divorce? Jesus will save you. Have a hangnail? Jesus will save you.

I used to teach in the children's ministry...  And when I taught, I could always tell the kids who had grown up in the church. It didn't really matter what you asked, half of them would yell out "JESUS!" as the answer -- They'd been pretty well-trained that "Jesus" was a darned good guess if you didn't know the answer, and I'm pretty sure they threw it out there, without even listening to the question, just in case.

It was kind of like that.

And I started to feel like "Jesus" just wasn't enough.

But how could I say that?  How could I say that Jesus wasn't enough? Isn't He supposed to be enough?

2 comments:

  1. We really should have talked more. Just saying.

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    Replies
    1. Oh i don't disagree... And there will be more tomorrow, but I think that once you start to close off and withdraw, it's hard to find the courage to stop. Even with people that you truly don't believe would judge you... and would probably understand you very well. I think I felt ashamed of my thoughts (and that is probably not "of God" at all)... but because I did, I just didn't want anyone to know.

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