Chances are that when you get to a place that you're even thinking about letting go of something, it's what "is" that you want to get away from. That's not really what is holding you back.
It's the hope... and it's the dreams... and ... mostly, it's the hope of what could have been. Maybe it's the memory of what "was" and the hope that it could be the "is" again. Hope is powerful. It can suck you in for so long, that hope that keeps you strung along for moment upon moment.
But you eventually have to come to a place where you accept that you cannot force the "was" to become the "now." You can't will your hopes to become reality.
And you have to decide.
- How long are you willing to swim through the status quo of what is? Especially if it's something that makes you unhappy.
- What sacrifices of yourself are you willing to make in order to change it?
- What will you lose in the process?
- Is it even worth it?
Sometimes you have to stop focusing on the illusions of what could be or what could have been, and you have to take a good hard look at what is reality now.
And you choose based on that. When you strip away your illusions, your unhappy unreality is a lot easier to let go.