Friday, September 26, 2014

Trusting Again

"How do you trust someone when 
they have given you a reason not to trust them?"

That was the question posted on Twitter a few days ago (not by me), and it's been floating in my thoughts ever since.

So, what do you think? How do you? Or do you at all?

As a general rule, I guess I'm the kind of person who does. Even if you've given me a reason not to trust you, I'll try again.  But the result is unpredictable. Sometimes it turns out great, sometimes it's a disaster.

I once had a friend who'd hurt me pretty deeply. And then we had a chance to start again... but I thought about it for a long time first. Could I trust them with my heart? Was I going to be hurt again? In the end, I went with a weird sort of trust -- I'm not sure if you can even call it that. I made the choice to move forward. I made the choice to give them the power to hurt me twice...  but I did so, almost expecting it to happen.

Maybe that's why trusting again is so hard... You can choose to trust, but you always hold a little of yourself back, just in case -- an extra measure of self-protection. But hopefully, little by little, you can build trust back between you again... and over time, you can even let go of those bits that you hold onto for dear life.

So, to answer the question... How do you trust someone when they have given you a reason not to trust them?

I guess you have to choose whether the risk is worth it. What are you potentially losing by walking away? What could you gain by giving of yourself one more time? And can you heal again if the result is your broken heart?

I can't answer those for you... but I hope you find the answers you need.

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