Sometimes when we're angry... what comes out... is mean.
We want revenge. We want the other person to feel the same pain that they inflicted. So we're mean. We don't just explain why we're angry, or why what the other person did or said was hurtful.
No... we go for the jugular. We want them to pay. We say the things that we know will hurt the most. We try to turn other people against them. We have our excuses that we tell ourselves... but really... we're just being mean. It's not even an eye for an eye... it's more like a whole heart for a hangnail.
When called on that, I've seen people say, "This is just who I am. 'Honest.' I'm just saying what I think! Take me or leave me." I hope I haven't been that person... but I probably have.
I think it's a terrible way to excuse cruelty... Maybe it is just the way someone is. Maybe they are just being honest, just being themselves. But I can't imagine being okay with "deliberately cruel" being the person that I am. I can't imagine "complete lack of compassion" being something that I am okay with embracing.
I'm sorry for someone like that.