It's been a really rough six weeks. Really rough.
It wasn't supposed to be! November started with a CRUISE with my absolute favoritest group of vocalists, and I was really excited about it. The first time in a really long time that I'd been able to go on a vacation that was just for me. But, on the plane ride home from Miami, I was inundated with emails from my youngest...
Mommy, when are you coming home? I am so sick...
And.... she was. A misdiagnosis of strep throat had passed over the pneumonia in her body, which took a repeat visit to the doctor to find. She's been sick ever since. We're still struggling with breathing difficulties, trying to figure out the right medical road to walk. And while we do that, school marches on without us. I'm ever aware of the amount of school she is missing, while she struggles with being panic-attack-level afraid of returning.
On top of that, another one of our kids got sick a week ago and she's been home too!
Can we just say I'm a little worn out of playing nurse... and I'm struggling to see the light at the tunnel.
And sometimes life is like this. Sometimes life is a struggle and you walk roads that seem dark and that have no end. It's on roads like this that you have to be deliberate about looking around you. You have to pay attention to the good things around you, even if they are little. Sometimes the littlest smile can make the biggest difference in a week of hard. And you are going to have weeks that are hard.
And so you need to enjoy that cup of coffee without guilt. Make time for the run that fills you with endorphins and makes you feel strong. Sit in front of the fireplace and stare into its flames. Play that new CD you bought and stop apologizing that it's the 19th time you've played it in the last four days.
Do what you need to get to the end of the tunnel... cause it's there. Just keep walking, keep looking, keep smiling.