Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Don't Want To Do: Forgiveness When You're Still Hurting




I sighed.  The hurt was real; I wasn't imagining it. I wanted the relationship to be healed, but I also felt like it wasn't something that I could just sweep under the table and pretend wasn't there. I needed us to talk about it.

But, they wouldn't.  Or, maybe they couldn't. I don't know. Every time I tried, it turned into a conversation about something else. It turned into blame at something else, something that didn't have anything to do with us. Eventually, I realized that it was never going to happen. They were never going to understand my hurt, they were never going to understand what they had done.

So, what happened next was my choice. I could continue needing an understanding and apology I was never going to get and walk away from a relationship that could never be healed. Or I could make the choice to forgive something that still hurt and heal a friendship that needed that salve of forgiveness in order to survive.

What would you choose?

Both are hard... both require sacrifice. Maybe your need for understanding and apology trumps the value that the relationship brings to your life. Maybe you can walk away.  Maybe the promise of relationship is enough to give you the strength to swallow your hurt and keep walking together.

But, here's the thing about forgiveness and relationships.  If we choose the latter, it has to be complete. Forgiveness for something that we keep bringing up, whether in conflict or even just in our heads, isn't forgiveness.

It's just cheap talk.

So what would you choose? What will you choose?

---------------------------------------------

Monday .......................... What You Don't Want To Do
Tuesday ......................... Forgiveness When You're Still Hurting
Thursday ................... Kindness When You Want to Lash Out
Friday ........................ Apologizing When You Don't Feel Wrong
Monday (again) ......... Commitment When You Want to Quit

1 comment:

  1. I have had to delve into forgiveness in a big way with regards to a couple actions of someone else. I seriously struggle with it. Some days are better than others. If forgiveness means forever, then on several issues, I am a failure at it. 95% of the time, I'm fine. But every so often it rears it's ugly head and I'm forced to work on it again. I sure hope the day comes when I don't have to work on it anymore. It's exhausting.

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