Thursday, July 25, 2013

Running Away from Trust

Have you ever trusted and had your heart broken?  Maybe by a boy. Maybe by a girlfriend. Maybe that's family or friends or just someone you admired. It seemed so easy at the time... why wouldn't you trust them? They'd done nothing to you... and then, all of a sudden, they had.

Do you know the recoil you feel when you realize that your trust has been trashed?

I still remember a moment when someone that I thought had been a friend was publicly and openly trashing me.  At first, I didn't even realize they were talking about me. Our friendship was in a little bit of a rocky patch... but that kind of hostility?  And public? Dead honest, I never expected that. And while it seems overdramatic to describe it this way, I distinctly remember the moment of horror and disbelief when I put two and two together and realized it was about me. Any hope of reconciliation or love for them died in me that day, forever.

The instinct is to run.  At least for me, it is.  I want to run the other way... and not just from that person, but from all persons. No one can hurt you if you don't put your trust in them, right?

But, over and over, I've learned that happiness never lies down this road. Never. It lacks the threat of hurt, but it also lacks the hope of love. Most of all, it lacks an authentic you. You aren't being you when you're avoiding getting hurt. You aren't loving the way that you were made to love. You're so afraid of being hurt that you can only cower.  And that isn't you.  It isn't me. It isn't us.

Trusting is vulnerability, and it carries its dangers. But, we have to trust anyway. We need people who can trust, despite the possibilities of hurt. We need people who remind us that there is more to life than fear.

Trust anyway. Don't let the world kill that part of you.

1 comment:

  1. It's so hard to trust after being burned. We do need to try to be open again, but sometimes people are not trustworthy and we need to establish healthy boundaries. Maya Angelo said, When people show you who they are, believe them. I have found that to be so helpful in trying to discern character.


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