Friday, June 28, 2013

Expectations Can Hurt

I remember a line from Anne of Green Gables in which Marilla tells Anne that maybe if she didn't get her hopes up so high over things all the time, then she wouldn't be disappointed so often.  There is perhaps wisdom and common sense in that.  If you don't expect things to be wonderful, then they won't make you sad when they aren't.

But, like Anne, I could never internalize that. I wouldn't know how to go about life without having high expectations for what the world, and the people in it, have to offer.  But, like Anne, going about life that way gives you wonderful highs and debilitating lows.  Because expectations can hurt.

My biggest struggle is that the reality just doesn't always match up with the scenarios I build up in my head. For OH do I have a tendency to create scenarios in my head.  I know situations are going to happen... so I think about them and plan them out.  and I have lines, and the other people have lines (that I of course don't tell them about), and these lines always make me seem so smart and witty!  And then... the actual situation happens and it just doesn't go the way I thought it would in my head.

Expectations can hurt. But, I've found that not having expectations can hurt, too. When you don't trust someone enough to have high expectations of them, that knowledge can hurt, too.

And so... I have no conclusions.  High expectations, low expectations, they can all lead your heart somewhere you wish they wouldn't.


1 comment:

  1. This is funny, to some degree. No matter what we do, there can be disappointment. Which is so true! There are no guarantees that outcomes will be what we want. I do tend to try to detach from outcomes, though, in case things go badly. Anne has a good point. :-)

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