Tuesday, January 15, 2013

The Keys to the Castle

Overall, I don't have a very thick skin.  Pieces of it, sections, have become thicker over time.  But, for the most part, it's really not that hard to pierce through the layers and leave me feeling hurt. I'm overly trusting and I want to believe the best in people. I'm impetuous and impatient... but easily wounded.

I give that neither praise nor insult. Sometimes I feel like, at this point in my life, my skin should be thicker. I should be less impervious to injury and hurt.  At the same time, I'm glad to not yet be completely desensitized to people. I'm glad I can still care enough to be hurt.

All the same, I've learned some things about being hurt. I've learned that, probably, I will never be the kind of person who easily lets things roll of her back. I will probably always be the girl who loves too deeply and often... and thus encounters wounds too frequently. This is a part of who I am, and I'm learning to accept that, and I no longer wish to change that part of me.

But I've also learned that not everyone needs to have that power... the power to create pain in my life and my heart. Not everyone's opinion of me has to matter. I've spent a lot of time in my life just wanting to be liked and accepted... and by everyone. But I'm learning that I won't be liked by everyone, but I will be loved by some.  And it's the opinions of those who matter most.

And so to you who matter most, I entrust you with that power to wound... because you matter to me.  But I also trust you. I trust that you won't use that power. I trust that you will understand that giving you the keys to the castle of my heart means that I'm calling off the dragons and I'm calling off the soldiers and I'm putting down the drawbridge.

I'm trusting you that you come in peace and you come in love and you come with goodwill.

For that is how I am welcoming you.

1 comment:

  1. I love this!! My friend and I talk about this she says I have finally let people in the front door and she is working on letting them in the driveway... I guess I rather be like us care to deeply than to not care!!

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