Well, I don't know about that. I think it's possible for someone to behave and treat you so atrociously that they kill your love for them. But that doesn't mean that you never loved them to begin with. It just means they were a real dickhead, and it doesn't make you "bad" for your changed feelings.
It's also okay, though, to keep loving them. Sometimes I think there is a push, when relationships end, to hurry up, get over it, and move on. There is this expectation that "moving on" means that the person with whom you had a relationship should now mean nothing to you, that you'll never think of them, that they are no longer a blip on your radar at all. And that you are weak and wrong if those things aren't true.
It's okay. It's okay to still love them. It's okay to still hope for good things for them. It's okay to be sad that they aren't a part of your life anymore. It's okay that it's all bittersweet.
It's okay.
Thank you. I will now give myself permission that it is OK.
ReplyDeleteWell, not just 'cause I said so!! :)
DeleteTime heals all wounds, if you let it. I used to both love and hate that phrase, but I have found that when I let go the healing can begin. If the hurt is constantly irritated healing is delayed.
ReplyDeleteMy past is dotted with relationships that seem even more meaningful and loving in retrospect, though they were fraught with angst while we were together. The years between have brought growth and understanding. Then there are the ones that without prayer and redirection could be eligible for the rusty spoon operation.
I never doubt that I have loved and done so deeply, but it's a thin line between love and hate.
I think I can understand that...
DeleteThere are people in my life I will always love no matter how hard I try to not to or no matter how hard I try to forget them. I'd rather love them and be happy for them than hate them.
ReplyDeleteMe too... though I'm not sure that's always the healthiest for me. I mean, the hate isn't healthy... but... well, this isn't making sense. Basically, I'm just a messy basketcase. :)
DeleteI have definitely gone through, what I can only call, withdrawals when relationship ends. Depending on the proximity to my heart, the harder it was to let go. For all of our sakes, I learned how to let go.
ReplyDeleteHard but necessary, sometimes... Love you to pieces.
Delete