Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Most Important Things

"The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they're brought out. But it's more than that, isn't it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you've said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That's the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear." -- The Body, Stephen King

It has been years since I've read this short story, and more since I've seen the movie inspired by it.  But, I re-read this passage a few months ago and fell in love with it. Every word of it was something that my heart read and whispered, "Yes. That."

Have you ever felt this?

I've had instances where I had something that was so important to say... SO important, at least to me.  But when the thoughts were finally pressed into words and sentences, the listeners blew them away like chaff.  And it wasn't really because they didn't care.  But they didn't understand.  They didn't understand why the words were important. They didn't understand what it cost me to say them, how much I felt I was risking. They didn't understand the meaning behind the words, the feeling behind the words, the importance behind the words.

You're left at a loss, aren't you?  You want to say, "No, LOOK.  Listen to what I am saying to you. Can you not see the tears I have just shed trying to communicate my very heart? Can you not understand why this has been so hard to say, and yet so very imperative that I share it?"

And they don't.  They just... don't.  It's heartbreaking and disappointing, and leaves you feeling very deflated.  Not even mad at them.  Maybe it's not their fault that they don't understand.  But you feel deflated, and a little lost. They were supposed to understand.

So, you close up again and you lock your secrets away again and you remind yourself what happens when you let your heart out and you vow that there won't be another time.  There won't be an "again."

But, there will. Our secret hearts aren't meant to be locked up, hidden away from all people.

There will be an "again." And maybe "again" will turn out differently.


  1. Stop. Just stop. I can't keep letting you write my heart like this. But then... maybe there's something to having it out there. ((hugs))


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