When I was young and Anne of Green Gables was my bible for life, I longed with all my heart for a Diana. That ONE GIRL who was my friendship soulmate, who would be with me through thick and thin from the moment we met until the moment we died. The girl who would know every part of me because she'd BEEN THERE and that I would grow old with in an old farmhouse when our respective husbands had made us widows.
At 35 years old, I still haven't met Diana Barry, in that sense. A younger me might have been disappointed in that, like I'd failed some grand scheme of female friendship. But, I'm not. Because, as I look back, I realize I've had exactly the friends I needed for the time I was in, and they are not lesser friends because they weren't 80-year friends.
I had different friends in high school than I had in college. Different friends in college than I had as a young mom. Different friends as a young mom than I have now. But, that's the thing... they weren't better or worse, they were just different. And they were exactly what I needed.
I have those "exactly what I needed" friends right this very moment.
Do you ever have those moments where you think about the people in your life and you are so filled with overwhelming gratitude for those people that you just want to run around hugging everyone? And you wish that you had the words to tell them exactly how grateful you are for them? But all that comes out is "I love you and I'm so glad you're here." But that's not enough... I mean, it IS enough. Because they know you and they know you love them and they know you're slightly off-center and insane. And so they know what you mean. But you want to be able to say, "NO... no... you don't understand. I mean that, but I mean so much MORE than that."
I am having those moments right now.
I do not know what the future holds... and I have learned to accept and appreciate that my friendships go in stages and life cycles and not all of them are here to stay forever. And I have learned to believe that this is entirely okay.
But, oh I'm glad you're here for as long as you're here.