Tuesday, June 5, 2012
12 Things: Full Accountability
11. I take full accountability for my life.
This is something I've really thought a lot about over the past several months.
"Own your choices and mistakes." I'm big on this one. Now, I have a lot of work to DO on this one. I'm not always as good at practicing as I am at preaching, but this is something I'm working on. I feel like it's really important to be honest about the consequences in your life. We can't treat ourselves like victims all the time. It's really important to understand and internalize that a good portion of the things that "happen to us" are consequences of our own actions. It seems really popular in our culture to blame our problems on other people. And maybe it's not just our culture, maybe that's just human nature. But I think it's dishonest. Some things, sure. But in general, we have more say in what happens to us than we like to admit. So I think it's really important that we're honest. That when we make mistakes, we're willing to say "That was wrong of me," and when the consequences come, we understand that they are consequences and not just random things done to us out of sheer cruelty.
On the flipside, taking full accountability means that we also get to take credit for the successes, too. Not all of life is failures and mess-ups. Sometimes things go right. Sometimes we CHOOSE RIGHT. And if we're going to own our choices in the bad things, owning our choices in the good things is just as important. It's okay to be proud when you choose right, when you do right.
Actually, I find this important even as we're owning our bad choices. (Thinking as I type here...) I've never really had a ton of trouble taking the blame when things go wrong. Once I see it, I'm often very willing to take it... and take it ALL. And that's not quite honest either. I'm thinking in a relationship/friendship sort of context here. Friendships are two-way... and when they go bust, the blame usually goes two ways, too. Of late, I've been learning to take responsibility for my share, but for only my share. No longer am I willing to blame myself for everything, when everything isn't mine to own. Does that make sense?