8. I am good to those I care about.
I would like to be better at this.
I was at a school meeting for one of my children earlier in the week. After I made a passing reference to her getting mad about something, they asked me what she does when she gets angry. So I described a typical tantrum. Her teacher laughed and said, "Well, she definitely doesn't do that here." Which is good. I would much rather have her act like a 3 year old at home than at school, and I don't think that's terribly uncommon either. We act up where we are most comfortable.
On the one hand, maybe there is some value in that. When we are around people we love, and who we know love us back, we relax our guards. We bring down our walls, and we let them see us for who we really are. We know they will love us, anyway, so there is less need to keep ourselves in our protective stances.
But... on the other... We stop controlling ourselves, too. "They'll love me, anyway." So we work a little less hard to hold our tongues. We let that eyeroll roll on. We exert a little less effort to rein in our impatience.
And we're right. For the most part, they will love us, anyway. But don't they deserve better? We're good and kind and friendly to the people we don't know, but then treat those closest to us with less?
So, I want to be better at this... The people I love deserve that.