I read a post on another website last week, and I liked it so much... or at least it made me think so much that I wanted to continue the conversation and thoughts over here. The post talked about 12 things that we should be able to say about ourselves, and I wanted to explore how true each of those was for me.... and for you, if you'd like to play along.
1. I am following my heart and intuition.
Perhaps this is merely a side effect of youth, but I've found that I have spent much of my adult (and surely teenaged) years molding myself into someone that I felt other people wanted me to be. If I had a group of friends that acted or believed a certain way, well then, I'd carefully mold myself into being more like that. It wasn't even so much a matter of lying about who I was, except perhaps to myself. I browbeat myself into changing who I was until I had actually become someone different... At the same time, it wasn't really me and so I wasn't happy.
When my children were younger, I really thought that I would become a contributing member of our school's PTA when they reached school age. I really did. It seemed like something I'd enjoy doing. Then, school age got here. We live in a nice area. Most of the families who live here are well-off, and a lot of the moms lean toward the Stepford. That isn't me. At all. We're financially comfortable, but I grew up pretty poor. Government cheese, dry milk, and popcorn is what we grew up on. (Well, minus the government cheese for me, please.) I tried to be Stepfordish. But, I just couldn't do it. Eventually, I simply gave myself permission to... not.
For me, I think that's a lot of it, giving myself permission. Not just about PTA, but everything. I give myself permission to read. I give myself permission to write, and to write what I want to write. I give myself permission to think my thoughts and not worry about what other people think of those thoughts, or even if they agree with me. Why is that even important? I give myself permission to be friends with who I want to be friends with, to be kind to who I want to be kind to, and honestly to not hang out with who I don't want to spend time with.
Once I started doing that (and I'm still learning to do it), I found myself in the midst of a lot more happiness. I think it was simply just a lot more being myself, and a lot less making myself be someone that I wasn't.
Is there anything you need to give yourself permission to do and be?
Original Thought Credit: Marc and Angel Hack Life's 12 Things You Should Be Able to Say About Yourself
Is it crazy that I feel the need for permission to put away the yarn? But I do. I feel as if that is expected of me, and I tried to pick it up the other day and crochet, and I couldn't do it. Well, 3 rows in and I put it down. WHy is this crazy? I guess I feel as if that defined who I was for so long. I don't want people to be disappointed if I don't do it anymore. And honestly, I may pick it up one day again. But right now I'm looking for permission. I guess I should look for it from myself.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to being careful about what I say, what is acceptable or caring so much about what other people think of my opinions, or how i look, or act or what I do or dont have. Its ridiculous because so many times I have discovered that there are a lot of people who dont consider what they are saying or doing but are just being themselves. I spend a lot of time mentally questioning myself and my thoughts before I do anything. But I have come so far from where I once was! It has only been in the last 6 months that I have given myself permission to be more open with people - I seem to make a lot of excuses for being me. Your post has really made me think about why I do this. hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteI can relate. I spent a lot of time trying to be someone for the family which I just couldn't be. Even growing up in church I couldn't be what they wanted, mainly because I felt the need to question things. LOL at Stacey for the crochet - my family gave up on that with me ages ago.
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