U is for Understanding

Ok, I'm just going to be straight up with you today.  I've talked a lot about kindness the last few months because it's what I want to be.  I want to be kinder. I want to be more patient. I want to be less snarky where the result is someone else's hurt.

But I'm going to tell you something...  Sometimes it's hard.  Sometimes my patience wears out faster than I can even imagine. Sometimes I want to stare at people in amazement at their crap and go "OH. MY. GOD. STOP IT."

I think they call this "being stretched."

There's this person.  I'm pretty sure this person is THE MOST NEGATIVE person I have ever met in my life.  Remember a week or so ago when I said I was a "glass half full" person and I liked to be happy?  I know this is going to come as a shock to you... but I don't think I mesh well with Captain Negative.  Sometimes I just sort of sit in amazement as they run through every possible negative aspect of their life.  And REALLY, there are NO positives.  NONE.  

And me, being Miss Not Negative, is all throwing glitter confetti and trying to poke holes in all the negativity.  "But look!  There's puppies!  And rainbows!  And CHOCOLATE!  Dear god, the chocolate!!!!"  I don't think negative people like people like me.  But, it's okay.  I'm pretty sure the feeling is relatively mutual because what I really want to do is shake them and yell "JUST STOP IT BEFORE I THROW YOU IN A PIT OF RABID ALLIGATORS!!!"

And then, my GOSH, I hate it when I'm all STOP IT, YOU ANNOYING THING, and the nice little person that I keep locked in the closet of my head shoves her nose in and goes "Hey.  YOU stop it.  Have you tried understanding them?"

"What's to understand?" I retort back. "They are BUGGING me."

"I know," she says. "But what do you know about the things in their life?  Tight finances, a hard family life, bad health.  You don't know.  Sure, maybe they could stand to smoke some of that happy gas you pipe into your head all the time, but would it be so bad to spend a little more time trying to understand them and a little less time plotting their accidental demise?"

Begrudgingly, I know she's right.  So before I lock her back in the closet again, I try to take a deep breath and find some grace and understanding somewhere in me.

Full disclosure...  Sometimes I don't.  Sometimes I can't find the understanding, and I say things I shouldn't.  On the plus side, so far, I haven't ACTUALLY pushed anyone into alligator pits.

But it's only April.