My mom is, quite simply, the smartest woman alive.
"Oh! What happened to your smoke alarm?" I asked my mom the other day. It was gone.
She has a living room with very high vaulted ceilings, and for some reason, there is a smoke alarm WAAAAAAY up at the top. This seems like a great place to detect smoke, I admit. But, for heavens sake, how is anyone supposed to change the battery?
Actually, this smoke alarm gave me great fits several years ago. I was home visiting with my then-very-young children. It was evening and they were asleep in the guest bedroom. This part is important. THEY WERE ASLEEP. And when you have three small children, you very much appreciate this time of the day. After they were sleeping, I was cooking some steak for our adult-dinner. I don't really remember what happened. Did I forget I was cooking? I don't know. But, for some reason, there were significant quantities of smoke coming from the oven, which caused the smoke alarm to go off. Apparently, the smoke alarms in my mom's house are all linked together, so EVERY smoke alarm in the house started going off, including the one in my children's room. Screaming. Screaming. Screaming. (Not from me.) And I can't get the darned things to go off because I can't wave the smoke away from that one in the living room. It was terrible. And my kids were afraid of the bedroom for three YEARS.
In any case, the smoke alarm was now gone, which was curious. My mom has some significant mobility and balance issues, so if SHE was the one responsible for it not being attached to the wall anymore, then we were going to have some serious talking to do. But no... She's far smarter than that.
"Wait, wait, wait," I interrupted. "You had three firemen in your house?"
"Were they good-looking?"
She looked at me as if I was an idiot. Which, granted, it was probably a stupid question. "They were FIREMEN. Of course they were good-looking."
"And they just came over, like that?"
"Ok, go on."
"So they came in and climbed on their ladders and went about fixing all the smoke alarms in the house and gave me stern looks when I told them that ALL of the smoke alarms were out of batteries. And the one up there," she gestured to the ceiling, "is apparently broken, so I have to go buy a new one and call them and then they'll come back and fix it."
"Alright, let me get this straight. You just called the fire department and they sent you three good looking young men in UNIFORM. And all you needed was broken smoke alarms?"
I'm taking a sledge hammer to ours when I get home.