He picked up his board, ready to catch the first wave that looked rideable when a sound caught his ear. A cry for help? An island maiden, perhaps? Intrigued, he cautiously made his way into the island foliage. He followed the sounds ahead of him until he came to a clearing. The situation he found there wasn't exactly what he had been expecting. Island warriors surrounded a lone man, who fought the warriors bravely with a large stick he had clearly picked up underfoot.
"Anybody have any bananas?" Keith asked casually as he strolled into the clearing. "What's the craic, George?"
"Thank God!" George exclaimed in relief. "I thought I was going to be a goner. These warriors are fierce!"
"Coolios, Old Man," Keith answered. "I'm just looking for some fruit... got beer?"
"What are you on about?!?!?! Can't you see I'm under attack?"
"It's all good, George. I've brought me secret weapon."
George cocked an eyebrow. "Look, kid... no offense. But you're wearing nothing but boardshorts there... what weapon??"
Keith smiled slowly... "Have ye not noticed, George? Those island warriors.... they're all GIRLS! I've got this one." With that, Keith twirled around in practiced move and grinned seductively at the seemingly-menacing warriors advancing on the pair.
"Come now, can't we think of something better than attacking me friend here? You've got sand... surfing... anyone got any Sambuca??"
The warriors, completely taken aback by such a sudden flash of charm, dropped their weapons, their concentration completely broken. They slowly approached the surfing one, mesmerized by his locks of gold and chattering excitedly to each other. As they came within reach, one tentatively reached out a hand and yanked on his hair firmly.
She turned quickly and exclaimed, "NO WIG!"
Keith casually threw an arm around her shoulders and entreated, "Help me find my way back to the beach??"
As he walked off amid the golden-skinned women, he winked at George over his shoulder... "Thanks, Georgie... I'll catch you later... try to stay out of trouble, would ya?"