Monday, November 28, 2011

7 Quotes I Like Today

1.  "When you come to the end of all the light you know, and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things will happen: Either you will be given something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly." --Edward Teller

2. "Heroes know that things must happen when it is time for them to happen. A quest may not simply be abandoned; unicorns may go unrescued for a long time, but not forever; a happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story." --Peter S Beagle

3. "Responsibility is the price of greatness." --Winston Churchill

4. "This thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down." --Mary Pickford

5. "Do not forget that you are who you decided to be. Stay in control of your life." --Stephanie Cook

6. "The higher you build the walls around your heart, the harder you fall when someone tears them down."

7. "If you judge me by my past, don't be surprised when you become part of it."

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

After The Storm - Chapter 4

Chapter 3

I stepped inside the cafe, letting my eyes adjust to the change in light from the day's sunshine. It was much like you'd expect any eatery in a town that time forgot to look like.  There was the long counter across from the kitchen, spinny stools at the ready.  Booths lined the walls, covered in shiny pink vinyl, though perhaps less shiny now. Countrified knickknacks and plaques lined the windowsills and walls, like a flea market had heaved its guts all over the place before picking up and leaving town.

"Can I help you, darling?" The voice came from a plump woman standing behind the counter.

I walked to the front counter and took a seat on one of the stools.  I always loved twirling around on these as a child. "Hi...  could I just get some coffee, please?  I'm waiting for the guy next door to order some parts for my car."

"Oh!! You must be Kyle's damsel in distress!!  I'm Julia..."  The woman's red hair bounced as she turned to grab the coffeepot off the backcounter.

I laughed, "Well, I don't know about damsel in distress.  You make me sound like a fairytale character, but I suppose it's close enough.  I'm hoping he can get me fixed up quickly, so I can get back home."  I felt like I'd seen this woman somewhere before, or maybe she just reminded me of someone, but I couldn't think of where or who.

"I'm so sorry that car troubles interfered with your day.  Where were you headed, anyway?  Not many people find their way out here," Julia asked.

I sighed.  "I just needed to get away from home for a bit, ma'am."

"Momma, leave the girl be. She doesn't want to tell you her life story." A tall young man got up from his place at one of the back tables and came forward, his book tucked under his arm.  His blue eyes sparkled as he extended his hand with a smile.  "I'm Lucas," he introduced.  Did all the men in Terrance come with such large hands?

"I'm Melissa... it's nice to meet you, Lucas.  And you, Julia," I added, taking a sip of coffee.  "It's okay, I don't mind.  What are you reading there?" I gestured to the book.

Lucas sat down on the stool next to me and set the book on the counter.  "Life of Pi, by Yann Martel? It's about a boy whose ship capsizes and he's left--"

I nodded at him, "I've read it, it's good.  How are you liking it?"

"Nervewracking!" We sat and talked about his book for a bit, as I ordered a bowl of soup.  I realized I hadn't eaten since I'd left the house that morning and I was starving.  We were animatedly discussing rabid tigers when the bell over the door rang and Kyle ducked under the doorframe.  The place seemed to dwarf a little, once he was inside it.

"Lucas," he nodded.  "You work fast."

My new companion grinned at Kyle, "Can't have you taking ALL the new blood, now, can we?"

Kyle made a face and I couldn't help but laugh.  I imagined that he had made the same face when they were 5 years old and stealing each other's Tonka trucks from the park.  "Ok, Kyle...  how about you tell me how we're doing with my car?"

He sat down on my other side, and turned the coffee cup over with a mindless gesture to Julia. "Well, most of the parts are being driven up right now and I can have them installed fairly quickly.  But that flux capacitor is proving a little more difficult, and it's going to be, probably, three days..." he said, apologetically.

"Three days?!" I exclaimed.

Lucas choked on the coffee he had just drank. "A flu--?" Kyle cut him off with a shake of his head. "Of all the...." his muttering took him along the counter to find some pie.

"I'm really sorry, Melissa...  but it looks like you might be stuck here for a couple of days."

My mind started turning.  This clear-my-head drive was turning out to be more headache than it was worth.  I had three books, a swimsuit, an extra pair of jeans, and a car that wouldn't move.  I was stuck in a town that I didn't even know EXISTED with two goodlooking men-- Well, okay, that part wasn't so bad.  I guess there were worse things?  I resigned myself to my fate.  "I guess I'm going to need someplace to stay."

"I can help you with that, dear," came a refined voice from Lucas's table in the back of the cafe. I expected it come along with a delicate teacup, pinky out. I looked up to see a teeny little woman make her way up to our group at the counter.  She was diminutive in stature, barely coming up to Kyle's elbow, but carried herself in such a way that I had no doubt she could be quite a formidable force should it be needed.  Her silver hair was coiled prettily into a loose knot at the nape of her neck.

"Mama, are you sure that's a good idea? Since you were sick..." Kyle seemed perturbed. Mama?

"Nonsense, young man. Go get her things."  I smiled to see the big cowboy put in his place. The little woman ran things around here, you could just tell. "Emily Terrance, Miss Melissa.  I run the inn across the street and you'll be staying in my best room."

"Oh, that's not necessary, ma'am." I began. "I can stay in whatever's easiest--"

"Nonsense to you, too. Not a lot of tourists come through here, and I don't get to play at innkeeper often. "

I met Kyle's glance over his mother's head and he winked at me.  I didn't think his mother was used to not getting her way, and I didn't think I was going to be the one to change that.  "Alright, but I'm going to need to make a phone call first and let my family know I've not been kidnapped by aliens."

Emily hurried across the street to ready the room I was apparently going to be renting while Kyle walked with me back to his car shop to use his telephone.  I dialed my mom.

"Mom?  It's 'Lissa.  Look, I went for a drive this morning while you were at Megan's, and I ran into some car trouble...  No, no, everything's okay.  It just needs to be repaired before I can come home, but apparently it needs some part that's really hard to find and I'm going to stay in this inn here in town till it's ready. ...  I don't know, a few days is what the car guy told me. The vacation is probably good for me, anyway....  No, it's okay.  I just need you to keep an eye on Daniel for a few days....  Thanks, Mom.  I'll call you soon... Bye."

I hung up the phone and we walked across the highway to the grand Inn.  "Daniel?" Kyle asked. "Is that like a pet goldfish or something?"

"No," I said quietly.  "Not like that at all."

Sunday, November 13, 2011

After The Storm - Chapter 3

Chapter 2

I grabbed my duffel bag from the back of my car while Kyle the Handsome Cowboy set his truck up for towing.  I really hoped it wasn't going to cost too much money.  Or time.  Surely I had things to do... like... okay, maybe I didn't have anything to do but cry and eat my mom's chocolate chip cookies.

I watched from the side of the road as Kyle worked on attaching the chains, and then we jumped into the cab of his truck.  I didn't really know where we were going... I wasn't even positive where I was.  I'd taken so many twisty turns in my driving, I was fairly lost.  I leaned my seat back a little and just watched the scenery go by in silence.

After a few minutes, I sighed to myself, "It's so beautiful here..."

Kyle looked up from the road briefly, "Hmm?"

I spoke a little louder. "I said that it's beautiful here...  Where ARE we, anyway?  I was just driving to drive, and...  well, truth is that I guess I'm lost."

"Well, miss...  you are on your way to the booming metropolis of Terrance."

I smiled over at him. "Please, call me Melissa.  Terrance.." I turned the word over in my head.  "Sorry, I don't think I've ever heard of it."

He laughed a little.  "Don't worry... no one ever has.  Blink and you'll miss us." He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to an imaginary beat in his head.  "In my experience, Melissa, no one goes for long drives, not paying attention to where they're going, unless they've got something on their mind they're running away from."

Cheeky and meddling.  "I'm really not sure that's any of your business," I responded icily.

Kyle grinned and held up one hand in defense.  "Fair enough...  sometimes it helps to talk."

I guess that wasn't totally fair of me, so I said quietly, "Sorry...  okay, yes.  Man trouble...  I broke up with the man I was dating." That hurt inside... that sounded so much less intimate than what it had really been.

"Ah.  What happened?"

I looked out the window at the trees floating by.  "I don't know."  My voice broke on the last word as I tried to keep the emotion out of it... ineffectually.

"Aw, come on now, Melissa," Kyle protested.  "You're not going to cry on me, are you?  I'm fresh out of Kleenex from the last time a girl fell apart in here."

He was making me mad again.  "Well, if you're going to ask!!"  I sniffled a little and turned to stare pointedly at whatever was not in his direction.

He reached behind him to the back of his truck cab and placed a small box of tissues on my lap.  "I thought you were out," I commented as I pulled one out to wipe my eyes.

I could hear the good humor in his voice.  "I might keep an extra box for the pretty girls."  A town rolled into our view.  "Welcome to Terrance, chica....  don't blink."

Terrance wasn't a huge town.  But, to be fair, you might have to blink at least twice to get through it.  It ran the length of the highway for a few blocks before the road picked back up into the great unknown ahead.  Along one side, I could see what must be Kyle's auto repair shop, with one gas pump sitting outside.  Next to it sat a pretty little restaurant with daffodils lining the walkway... "Julia's Place."  On the other side of the auto shop, there was a little teensy grocery store with Pepsi signs plastered all over the outside.  On the opposite side of the highway, an old house stood next a neighborhood park, restored to an antique perfection.  "Terrance Bed and Breakfast" was painted on the archway that stood over the house's walkway.

I searched the road for the one thing I needed.  "No Starbucks, then?"

Kyle laughed, "Ah, no.  No Starbucks... Funny, their corporate headquarters didn't seem to think we could support one.  Julia makes a mean pot of coffee, though..."

"That's a pretty home that your town bed and breakfast is in," I offered, honestly.  I didn't REALLY want to offend the guy... who knew how much he'd charge me?  "Do you get a lot of tourism here?"

"No, not really, just lost girls with broken cars" he answered.  "A whim of an old woman, really.  But the owners are good people."

We pulled into the bay of his auto shop, full of car parts I didn't understand.  He bade me to wait a moment, and he came around to help me down out of the truck.  Kyle ushered me into what must have been his office.  "It's a little messy in here," he offered with an apology as he moved magazines from the one waiting chair.  "Why don't you wait a few minutes, and I'll take a better look at your car."

I tossed my bag into a corner, and sat obediently where I was told, not that there was much of anywhere else TO sit, while he backed out of the office to do car stuff.  My eyes perused the magazines he'd dropped on the floor, looking for something to entertain myself.  Car and Driver. Hot Rod. Motor Trend.  Not a single girl magazine in the stack. Getting up, I took a little tour around the little room, studying the pictures on the wall.

There was a shot of Kyle with three friends about high school age, all young and smiley in football uniforms. One of him kneeling with one arm slung around a black lab, sweet.  A certificate from the state auto mechanic license board, awarded to Kyle... Terrance.  That was interesting. A photo of him looking close with a beautiful brunette... girlfriend?

His voice came ringing out from the shop and I jumped back to my chair, grabbing a magazine off the floor and tried to look occupied.  "Melissa, we're going to need--" he entered the office and grinned at me with the magazine in my lap. "Good magazine?" he asked.

"Oh sure," I replied with attempted authority. "I've always been interested in carburetors."

"Well sure, who hasn't?  I'm afraid your car's going to need a little bit of work before you can get back on the road.  Why don't you run on over to Julia's Place while I see about getting some replacement parts sent out here?  Tell her I sent you and she'll get you all fixed up."

"Is it going to be a lot?"

"Well... not oil-change cheap, but I'll do the best I can for you.  You need a timing belt, like I said...  and a new alternator.  Plus, that... you were definitely right about the flux capacitor.  I'm going to need to track one of those down, too. I'll come over when I get that straightened out."

"Okay..." I picked my purse up and wandered out of the shop to the daffodil-lined sidewalk of the cafe.  I pushed open the door and the bell over the door announced my arrival.  All heads turned... and by all, I mean "all four."

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Trust is Like a Vase

Loss of trust sucks.

It is tremendously hard to take personal responsibility that you are the one to blame for someone else losing trust in you.  But, I'm coming to realize that it is sometimes just as hard and heartbreaking to be the one who has lost trust in someone else.

It's not just something you can fix with a simple solution.  You can't patch it with tape or glue. It's just there, undermining everything.  I'm reminded of the lyrics of a song I like:

"Well, a month or so has passed and now you're back again with me
But the cracks remain unmended in our once so-perfect team.
We seem to spend all our time just trying to make things right
But there cannot be a winner in this neverending fight."

It's like that.

You can try to fix everything else... but the loss of trust just sort of hangs out in there, picking at the tape, melting the glue. Just always there...  and that's true whether you're the one that broke the trust or the one who lost theirs.

It's just sad... that's all.  It's just sad to know there is no trust where there once was much.
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