Saturday, October 8, 2011
10 Day "You" Challenge - 8 Fears
BEARS BEARS BEARS. Really, I have an underlying fear of most wildlife, harboring a secret belief that they're all waiting to attack me. But, the bear component is the strongest. Partly, I imagine that's due to living in the Northwest where there... ARE... bears. But, mostly, I blame this on a movie I saw on TV once where a homicidally-inclined bear was out hunting these guys through the forest. I know, I know... bears don't eat people, blah blah blah. Don't bother. Joel's been trying for years, and it doesn't work. You CANNOT win an illogical argument with logic. You would think Joel would have learned this by now.. but no. Judging by the arguments he tries to have with our hormonally-charged, this is a lesson he has yet to learn. So yes, #1. Bears.
2. I don't know about yours... but my kids didn't come with instruction manuals. I don't know what I'm doing. Because my kids are so close together in age, I don't even have the luxury of screwing up the first kid and doing better on the last one. It's just "sink or swim" in stereo, and I worry that I will get to the end, having completely screwed up all of them... I don't think you get awards for that.
3. I'm a very good chameleon. I am skilled at becoming who I think you want me to be. I will change who I am to make you happy... and not even to be someone you will like better, but just to be who you EXPECT me to be. Does that make sense? But, the older I get, the more weary I become of all that, and my desire to chameleonize myself gets less and less by the year... but I'm left with the concern that if I stop being the chameleon you have come to know, will you still love the person who hides inside?
4. I am afraid that the world's supply of food will be depleted and all that will be left is cheese.
6. Big Dogs. I LIKE dogs... if I know they're friendly. But, I've always been a bit scared of big dogs. My mom taught me a little mantra when I was a little girl "big dogs do not eat people big dogs do not eat people"... and when I'm out for a walk or run around the neighborhood, I still find myself muttering it to myself when I pass by houses where they have big dogs who aren't happy that I am in the near vicinity of their territories.
7. That I'm not enough.
8. that someday I will fall into an emotional hole that I can't pull myself out of.
Photo Credit: SteFou!, Samantha Henneke