Sometimes things happen just the way they're supposed to. Even when they're hard things, things that you don't WANT to happen... sometimes they're right.
You can rail against that. You can fight it. You can jump up and down and scream that you don't want it. You can cry and you can be mad. You can preach about how unfair it all is.
And when you're all done screaming and hitting and throwing a general 2 year old's tantrum, then you can stop. You can stop and you can really look at it. And you can admit that you didn't want it, but you've got it... and you're so much better for it.
Last week, I had a talk with one of my girls about this, in a way. I can't remember the situation exactly, but I had told her not to do something. I didn't explain why, it was one of those "do what I tell you to do NOW and we'll talk about why later" sort of things. Like when you tell your 2 year old not to touch the stove as they're reaching for a hot pan... you don't take five minutes to explain the reasons, you just say "DON'T TOUCH THAT."
Well, at 11 years old, they think they don't need more of that, and that I don't know what I'm talking about. Course I did... and they ignored me, and the thing I didn't want to happen ended up happening. And, as a parent, you just want to go "IF YOU HAD JUST LISTENED TO ME!!!" But we talked about it later... that I don't tell them to do things just to be mean and to make their lives miserable. Sometimes, it's because I know more, sometimes it's because I'm wiser, sometimes it's because I've had more experience, and I understand what will happen next. And sometimes I just need them to ACCEPT that and do what I say.
I've been doing some of my own tantruming and ignoring of wisdom for a good long while. But, of late, a lot of things have come together. Maybe it's time. Maybe it's the right friends. Maybe it's the wisdom I'm finally in a place to listen to. But things are right... and I can see that now.
Sometimes it's hard to strike out on a new road when you feel... cleansed and different. You want to move on, you want to walk fresh, you want to shed all that you had and were before and forge a new road with the newness of where you are. But... people don't always let you, do they? Maybe they can't forgive you for the past. Maybe they don't believe that you can change. Maybe punishing you has simply become a habit. And it's easy to drown under that cloak.
But they don't own you. And they don't own your heart. And they don't know you. So, you need to stop listening to that poison. Be strong in the knowledge and the wisdom that where you are is right. That where you are going is good. That who you are becoming is true.
Stand and be true.
Photo Credit: Tiffany Terry, J Cook Fisher