Friday, June 17, 2011

Unpacking: The Bucket List

To 18yo Me

1. Your bucket list will change. What you want today may seem silly 10 years down the road. Change with it.

I like lists.  I like to make lists.  I like to brainstorm lists.  I like to organize lists.  Lists make me happy. (I'm sure there is some psychological anomaly mixed up in that, but I don't care enough at the moment to figure out what it is.)

Yes, I've made bucket lists...  that list of everything you want to do and accomplish in your life.  Like checking off each experience somehow brings you closer to having lived the life you wanted to live.  I'm not sure it quite does, and maybe provides an illusion of accomplishment.  But, I've still made them...

But, by necessity, they change.  We grow, we change, we mature.  Our life circumstances turn upside down from what we thought they'd be. The things I wanted to do at 20 years old are definitely not the same things I want to accomplish now.  Indeed, there are many things on that 20yo's list that I never finished.  Some of those could still find a place on a current list.  But, for many of them, I just laugh and think "Oh darling, why did you ever want to that, you silly child?"

It occurs to me that I really haven't thought about my bucket list in a long while.  Most of my 20s were spent surviving young parenthood.  Accomplishing anything lofty was not on the list.  Making it to tomorrow filled most of it.  I'm not in young parenthood anymore.  The stress of having three toddlers has been replaced by the stress of having 3 pre-teen girls... but it's a different stress.  More mental, less physical.  Maybe I'm just older because I feel far more equipped to deal with this than I did with young parenthood.  Well, maybe that's not right.  The beginning of puberty tells me that it's a long road ahead...  but at the same time, I am doing more than just making it to tomorrow.

I'm embracing things that I haven't for a long time....  parenthood, marriage, friendship, reading, writing, music, history, beauty, growth, travel. Maybe it's time to think about what I want to do and be in this stage of my life... and go after it.

Besides, I'll have an excuse to make a list. :)

1 comment:

  1. LOL...wait and see how your bucket list changes when you are MY age!!..luv you

    ReplyDelete

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