Finding ourselves... it seems to be the popular thing for women in their 30s and 40s to do, doesn't it? Men buy sportscars and date women they could have conceived. We "find ourselves." We all go on these quests to figure out who we are. And before you think I'm criticizing this, I'm not. Mere observation, here.
I think about how we identify ourselves. You ask a man who they are, and in general, they will define themselves by their job. You ask a woman, and they will define themselves by their relationships. "I'm Joel's wife. I'm Cathy's daughter. I'm Casey,McKenzie, and Alicia's mom. I'm Lisa's friend." Etc, etc. I don't know that there is anything wrong in this either. I just think that we go so long defining ourselves by the people in our lives and what we do for them that we lose a sense of who we would be without them.
I don't think the journey of figuring out who we are is a bad one. But, it is a journey, isn't it? For a long time, I've defined myself by what I am not enough of. Not smart enough. Not pretty enough. Not sympathetic enough. Not kind enough. Not strong enough. Not talented enough. Not compassionate enough. Not positive enough. Not realistic enough. Not ungullible enough.
I don't necessarily think that taking an honest inventory of your faults is a terribly awful thing. I don't suppose you'd want to wallow there forever, but knowing the areas that you could do some work on can be beneficial. But it seems to be a terrible way to define yourself too, doesn't it? Not by what you are, but what you are not.
So you move on, and you start to take an honest inventory of who you actually ARE. I find this hard to talk about, maybe not so hard to DO, but hard to talk about here. Talking about your strengths, admitting that you're proud to be ________... There's a public perception that this comes with a lack of humility. And who wants to be known as that?
I don't know... just thinking...