Isn't music a magical wonderful thing? I was thinking about how blessed we are to have it. I can think of nothing else that is so universal in its ability to heal, encourage, motivate, and inspire. I love how there is music for everything... whether you want it to reflect where you are in this moment or if you want it to spur you onto something different, there is a song that fits where you are and what you need.
In love and want the world to know? There's a song for that.
Totally pissed off? There’s a song for that.
I recently came out of a season of hurt. It doesn't really matter what for, just that it hurt. All those peppy songs that were on my playlist needed to go. It was like they were taunting me in their very delight with life. Off they went, and in their place came a set of music that spoke to the hurting heart. I don’t know why, but there’s something just a bit exquisite about twisting that knife one turn more, isn’t there? It’s not that it feels good, but there’s a sense of savoring the pain. My, that sounds masochistic. It’s not really that. They say that it’s our trials that build our character. That’s all nice and cliché, but I think maybe it’s tasting that very hurt that allows us to push past it.
Sometimes I wonder why, when we’re going through hard times, we seek out that music that allows us to wallow just a bit… because we do. It seems that it would be better for us to jump to that which would motivate us to climb out of it. But, it’s not the wallowing really. I find it’s more the comfort of knowing that somewhere, at some time, even if just for the time it took them to write that song, there was someone who understood what you felt. There is reassurance in that, in knowing that you aren’t alone.
A couple weeks of wallowing and I found that I didn’t really so much need that reassurance anymore, and the songs I found myself playing were ones that spoke of healing, of surviving, of moving forward. There are songs for this, too, when you come to the point where you can move away from protecting the hurt, where you’ve emerged from your turtle shell to go on. (ha! See what I did there??) I always appreciate music so much during this part of the healing.
“Climbing out” seems to describe the process so well. You start up the incline to the top, but there are always those moments where you want to give up. It’s too hard, you can’t do it, and there’s the inclination to give up and fall back to the bottom. Sure, it’s dark and cold down there, but you don’t have to work so hard. Admittedly, I don’t really do a lot of climbing out of holes in my real life, so I suppose I can’t compare accurately. But it SEEMS like it would be a good metaphor. Right, so you’re wanting to give up… and it’s at these moments when you just can’t go on anymore that music is so valuable. It becomes that friend at your side that says “keep going… you’re almost there.” And combined with the REAL friends saying the same thing, it makes reaching the top quite attainable.
And now, here we are at the top. I look behind me at the six weeks that came before and I’m grateful for the music that got me through. Thank you, my melodic friends, for being what I needed when I needed you. I daresay there will come a time that I will need you again… and in truth, there are a couple of you that I came to love so much that you’ll get to stick around awhile yet.
But right now, I’m ready to smile again. I’m ready to laugh. So welcome back, Footloose and Top Gun. Welcome back, Brad and Little Big Town. Welcome back, Mellencamp and Billy Joel. I rather think that I’ve missed you and I’m ready to do a little more dancing. I believe there’s a song for that, too.
I almost feel that I need to apologize to you, my friends and readers. This became far more personal than I had intended when I started writing. The blog I originally wrote in my head was far more generic!! I didn’t really want to write about this just yet. I’m not sure I wanted to let you in this far. I’m not sure I do even now, and I’m not sure I’ll hit that submit button come the morning.
Vulnerability comes with a price, and not one I always like paying. But there seems little reason to do this without an attempt at honesty and openness. Isn’t that part of why we blog? So, if you’re reading this, it means I decided to trust you. It means I decided to let you in. And it means I’m hoping you love me enough to honor that.