I've been a bit out of commission over the last week. We added a puppy to our household, and my entire life has been reduced to watching her like a hawk for the telltale signs of "I'm about to pee on your floor, sucker!!" Unfortunately, she's a sniffing beagle. So, "I'm about to pee on your floor, sucker" happens to also look a lot like "Where'd I put my ball," "I'm tired," and "haha I'm just messing with you." On the plus side, we have wood floors so it's easy clean-up, but the constant vigilance leaves me about 40 seconds between each subsequent visit to the backyard and very little time for anything else.
Next time I get a dog, please tell me to get one in the summer. When it's not cold and rainy outside.
The lack of time for anything else hasn't been all bad, though. For one thing, much of it has been spent cuddling this kissy little ball of fur, and I'm not sure that cuddling a puppy can ever really be considered a waste of time. But, it's also given me some interesting thinking time, away from distractions.
It's good to take a step back every once in a while and look at the things you're concerning yourself with. The things giving you emotional fits. The things you're worrying about, the things you're letting consume your mind. Sometimes you realize that most of those things just don't matter. I very often get bogged down in the past, worrying about how that past is affecting how people look at me now, if they understand the differences that have been wrought in my heart, if they hold those past things against me, if they allow for change and healing...
As I detached myself a bit from things this past week, I realized that's theirs. Mine is simply to move forward, living the best and wisest I can. As it turns out, moving forward is very difficult when you haven't undone the chain around your neck. Sometimes, you have to stop and remove it before you can walk on.