Friday, December 17, 2010

What I Want(ed) for Christmas

Sometimes as I go through life, I look around the world... I look at the people around me, and all I can see is what I WANT.

I want Drew's smile.
I want Sharon's imperviousness to criticism.
I want Amy's ability to collect friends.
I want Natalie's faith.
I want Lisa's patience.
I want Ryan's kindness.
I want Stacey's eloquence.
I want the body of nearly every Hollywood socialite gracing the checkstand magazines.
I want to write like That One Girl I Read But Whose Name I Don't Know.
I want Lucy's bravery.
I want John's popularity.
I want Dawn's strength.
I want Rachel's lack-of-caring-what-people-think-of-her.
I want a better natural dictionary in my head so I don't have to make up really long hyphenated words to describe what I'm thinking.
I want to sing like my sister.

I want, I want, I want.

I'm not sure that there is always negativity associated with seeing qualities in other people that you want to emulate.  I think seeing those things can push us to grow better character within ourselves.

But as I was watching The Voyage of the Dawn Treader last night...  I heard Aslan say to Lucy...  indeed, to me...  "You undervalue yourself."  Actually... that wasn't the exact quote... I KNEW I should have texted it to myself so I wouldn't forget.  But that was the gist.  And it made me realize that when I look at the people around me... and as I deeply long to be like Whoever...  I undervalue who I was meant to be.  As I strive to be the people I admire, I stop being the person THEY admire, and the person I was meant to be.

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